This is definitely not the case when I am in busy traffic. However, traveling primarily on side roads and through small towns on my way to some destination usually is filled with wonder of various spectrums. No doubt, the enjoyment of a motorcycle's sensation can't be overly emphasized; especially in a context that gives you the thrills that are of your particular preference. For those readers who are not riders, the best way I can bridge a way of describing this concept is to correlate how every person has particular awareness of their attraction to certain people types and shapes. Enough said: but if you think about what "turn's you on" then you can relate to why some people are turned on by riding a motorcycle of a certain type, and in particular environments. It's their "thing", even though it may not be your thing.
When I ride, I am invigorated. Sure, there comes a point when I've been riding long enough and I need a rest, but give me a 20 minute break with some food and treats and I'm good to go...bright eyed and bushy tailed.
As I was saying, looking back on 2012 has provided me with some perspective, I might even add some new perspectives. My life has been intensely focused on my faith and activity in my community of faith for the past 30 years. I've served in my Christian church life in virtually every aspect: Nursery, Children's Sunday School, Middle School and High School, Worship Leading, Sound Technician, Building Maintenance, Elder, Lead Pastor. I've been involved with church closures and church plants. All this while working full time in various industrial environments and currently in higher education as a maintenance technician.
Added to my reflection is the novelty I'm approaching age 50 in 2013. This past year has been another year of working through all the thoughts and emotions since I walked our church through a "proactive retirement closure" rather than a "reactive dying process". I think the most difficult stress on me was the post six months of helping the denomination find a new community of faith to rent the building until they decide what they are going to do with the property. It felt akin to still living in the same house you and your wife and kids lived in but they are gone out of your life now; not because of the pain of a divorce, but out of your love for them you had to send them onward to spare them the pain of dying a slow death by a disease headed their way. The ache of recalling some of the members not understanding and turning on leadership with hurtful words and actions...The heartache of those who did understand and were deeply saddened, though they knew it was the best decision for the church...The remaining intense memories and tangible trigger points were all overwhelming. The closure and six month lingering around the church by myself to tie up loose ends was in 2010. Two years has gone by but it seems less. I genuinely loved pastoring the congregation. Too many contributing factors led to this 18 year old church to close it's doors. Thankfully, I can honestly say it was not due to internal tension or division or lack of finances...primarily it was aging out and was on a downward spiral for a church's normal life cycle, if it doesn't have a fresh filling of younger people.
But these days my life is very different. My 3 kids were older teenagers when I was pastoring and working at the university 40 hours per week. Now they are grown up, living on their own, and successful in their careers. My wife and I are officially "Empty Nesters" now. She too is affected by all this past as described, but in addition she has the strong maternal nature within her feeling the loss of her "cubs" and alone as a mother now. Our relationship is in transition as well. Thankfully, very thankfully, we have grown closer rather than apart, as too often happens for empty nesters. We started out as high school sweethearts, dated four years, married young, and kids came four years later (daughter and 2 years later identical twin boys). Now we are enjoying a refreshed youthful love and freedom from the stressful challenges associated with our past responsibilities.
My dad has a strong inner sense God is in the process of recalibrating my soul. I wouldn't disagree. I suspect I'll understand this more with a future 20/20 hindsight perspective. For now, I feel like a very blessed man who has "An Attitude with Gratitude". I love my job, my wife and am very proud of my grown kids. 2012 was a year I discovered my soul loves to be on two wheels adventuring wherever I find my tires turning toward. I've discovered all kinds of side roads in my region I never knew existed. The wonders around me have been captured on my camera...I love attempting to "bank" the memories of what I am seeing so I can make a "draw" on my memory account later. Some of the things I've seen have truly been incredible by anyone's standards for the word Awesome.
I am looking forward to 2013 and continuing this "recalibrating process". Both blessings and heartaches are surely part of this process. I can't help but see the world is under great stress and it burdens my heart. Such suffering, wrongful treatment of others, and shortsightedness in public policies. It feels like I'm watching an hourglass of America's quality diminishing. History has proven Socialistic policies don't work, yet we are headstrong as a culture to try it ourselves because we think it will be different for us. Capitalism has proven to be the best route for developing countries to grow, but it is only held in check if the culture of its people are committed to benevolence with it's profits and don't succumb to greed. Sadly, it seems America has embraced the greed with its profits at all levels from the poor to the rich. We've seen it in the churches and the government.
Yep, I've been doing some reflection. My faith, family and future are often in my thoughts as I ride on two wheels and see the wonders around me. 2013 will undoubtedly be even richer in reflection and I look forward to it.
